My future as a travel guide

2026-09-12

The setup

Serbia has become a second country in which I assumed the role of a personal hike guide for my mum. 😁 The first one was Thailand where we walked some path closed to tourists around Chang Phueak. Not that I specifically wanted to break rules, but that's your typical navigation experience with komoot, isn't it! Serbia was a bit more action packed with more hikes around more cities. Despite having all routes open though, one was quite sketchy.

This time I tried something new, as there is not much hope to know beforehand how things are going to go when you go to a country for the first time and know nothing about it. The plan was quite simple - no plan. I did a quick check with AI to figure out basic logistics in which order to visit cities and that was it. A couple of days before our flights we booked our first hotel in Belgrade for an overnight stay and on the next day we moved to another hotel booked in Subotica.

Arrival

Things went a bit wrong right after I landed in Belgrade.

Search for a mobile operator office in the arrival area yielded nothing. The information desk proved to be completely useless. They sent me to a post office kiosk that has nothing to do with sim cards. OK then, scratch that. Wifi works so I can order a taxi via app. Car:Go, the one that according to some rumors is popular in Belgrade, took a cut of my money on a cancellation fee when a taxi arrived at who knows what area I had no hope navigating to. Yandex Go followed, requiring SMS registration I couldn't complete due to some weird mobile network problem with my phone. Fine, time to surrender and go grab a regular taxi.

To my surprise, while I was still robbed, it wasn't as bad as it would be in Prague. They have a fixed price list by city zones and while it is overpriced, at least you know beforehand what you are getting into. So, it was 3500 DIN to my hotel. Later, the same route from the hotel to the airport was 2200 DIN, nice touch.

At the hotel I was told that a sim card is awaiting me just behind the corner at a kiosk. It wasn't. With no mobile data, I had to go back to the hotel to regroup. Decided I need to find a mobile operator office. Went to a mall, finally found an operator office, put the sim in the phone just to realize that I am exactly where I have started - still no data, whatever is wrong with the phone, it's not the airport fluke! 🫠

Realized I am running late to meet my parents. The lady at the hotel reception was kind enough to provide me with a route to go to the airport by public transport, but given how clueless she was about sim cards, I had to sit down for a minute to find some courage to embark on that journey. Finally decided to head out just to be greeted by a street clock displaying 20:00. Panic attempts to deliver the final blow of the day. My parents' plane lands at 19:40. I rush back to the hotel where the lady asks me if this is my first time in Belgrade. I guess it means that no clock in Belgrade displays correct time. So the time is actually 19:00. At this point I decide that I had enough for today and just ask to get me another taxi to the airport.

Day 1: Subotica

Trains in Serbia run pretty well. There is a direct connection from Belgrade to Subotica on Soko train. It is very easy to buy tickets via the Srbijavoz app. Some trains could use a bit of cleaning, but perhaps it is fine the way they are - adds a bit of charm. This is not Soko though - that one enjoys much better upkeep.

In Subotica our destination was Lake Palić and it is not all that exciting as a hike route. A bit of walking mostly on flat ground in the city bounds and one arrives at a park that's pretty well maintained. There is also a zoo, while I don't support the idea of a zoo, my duty was to provide entertainment and so I did. 😑 The stay was uneventful overall and I didn't take any photos apart from some random city center shots.

Day 2: Petrovaradin fortress

A brisk backtrack on the Soko line towards Belgrade situated us in Novi Sad. Here our stops were Petrovaradin fortress and Fruška Gora National Park. We spent 2 days in Novi Sad as storming both destinations in one day was a bit too much.

The fortress was kind of a padding for the first day as we arrived too late for the hike to Fruska. The walk was pretty uneventful, it is a fortress with overpriced bottled water and a restaurant or two. Some graffiti I saw on our way back amused me a bit more to be honest.

Day 3: Gora Fruška

Hike around Fruška was fine, though the forest was... ehm... regular 😁 We took a shorter path around 20km from the city to Iriski venac. Bagged Debeli hrast and Astal peaks according to komoot on our way there. The bus stop at Iriski venac is just a sign at the road. No timetable, no protection from weather elements. So we had to ask locals about any bus back to Novi Sad. We were told multiple times that this is the stop indeed. Puzzled and in disbelief we waited for a bus that did arrive indeed.

Day 4: Gradac River Canyon

The paths here are fun to walk - there is enough variation. One time you walk near the river with its chill swampy air, then it changes to dry, crisp somewhat bitter air on an ascent, perhaps that from oaks that are numerous there. Then there is the monastery area. Overall Gradac reads like someone built Harrogath and Tristram side by side and forgot to tell the monastery demons are expected.

We even met a female incarnation of Nihlathak who sent us the wrong way. We had to climb a pretty steep hill up the railway bridge to get back on the path. The area around there gets sketchy and signs of evil surface one more time in treacherous paths that can shatter your bones and flora that shows signs of corruption.

Day 5: Return to Belgrade

Belgrade is a so-so location for typical shopping pleasures and while I could indulge before, by now I mostly weaned myself off fast fashion with all those Zaras and shit... Decathlon is the exception. I think for many things there the value/price balance is fine and nothing replaces a tank top from Decathlon I can abuse to death during my Thailand Muay Thai season.

Anyway I digress. Shopping was bad, hotel was badder [sic]. As I mentioned in the intro we didn't plan much, so I would book a hotel a day before our arrival and options were limited. The last one was Belgrade City Hotel. Located somewhere in what I think is Belgrade's old town, 4 stars somehow. We got a room with an absolutely disgusting smell in the bathroom. We kept the door shut and the ventilation running nonstop - didn't help. Every morning we would open every window and the front door just to let the draft haul the horrible sewer miasma out of there.

The hotel was a background distraction from the main problem, though. Walking a path in a forest is easy. Decoding what my parents want to eat and why it has to be dumplings three days straight - is a problem on a completely different level I'm not built to solve. And so things dragged.

No one could land on a decision. My 'I am awesome tour guide' mood tripped over the soft skills it actually takes to read what's on my mum's mind - what the next stop should be, why she needs exactly 'nothing at all'™️.

At this point I realized the only tour guide I can be is for a bunch of deadpan komoot peak seekers 🤣